If PT Barnum Played Baseball, He’d Hate This Too

Let’s loosen up for a bit from the excitement of the World Series and the tension of the upcoming off-season, and poke some more fun at baseball’s biggest buffoons.

This meme, which I found online yesterday, compliments perfectly The Circus of the Miami Marlins, which I posted in February. In the post, I compared the Marlins to the Philadelphia Eagles. At the time, I had completely forgotten their intimate link, but now I realize why they’re so similar. Both teams are owned by Jeffrey Loria, or in the Eagles’ case, Jeffrey Lurie (pronounced loor-ee-eh, or something similar). However, they are two different rich owners, with eerily similar names, of underachieving sports franchises.

Since I’ve enjoyed criticizing Loria and Alex Rodriguez this week, I might as well continue. But just as some of the illustrious comments in yesterday’s post were not my own, neither is this piece of commentary regarding A-Rod’s benching. [From the NPR show “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, host Peter Sagal spoke, commenting on Rodriguez’s flirtatious night last Saturday while the Yankees were losing]:

“[A-Rod] is a Hall of Famer. If he couldn’t score one way, well… So he spotted this attractive young woman in the stands, and he sent her, and her friend, some signed baseballs, and got their phone numbers in return. He figured it was the only way he’d get to first base this week. Sadly though, they were right handed so he struck out with them too.”

I don’t care even if you’re A-Rod…that’s funny! Rodriguez was 0-6 against righties in the ALCS, striking out three times. Meanwhile, Joe Girardi has stated that Rodriguez will indeed be the starting third baseman for the Yankees in 2013, temporarily dismissing trade rumors for the post-prime stud.

Obviously, both Rodriguez and Loria have their problem. I just hope for the sake of everybody involved, that their paths never cross, lest the Ringling Bros. and Jumbo collide.

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